Coming out as bisexual...

"I knew I wasn't hetrosexual as a young girl of 7 years of age. What I found confusing for a long time, was that I found both women and men attractive, with no particular rhyme or reason as to which gender I was likely to prefer.

At 14 I became involved with a girl, and decided to tell my mum, who I had always been close to, about how I was attracted to women as well as men. She seemed very supportive, and just wanted me to be happy.

However, on splitting up with my girlfriend I then dated a guy - which seemed to cement the idea in my mum's head that I was not a lesbian and so must be straight. This pattern continued for years, which meant that I have had to "come out" to my mum on more than one occasion!

The presumption always seemed to be that if I am dating a guy I am suddenly straight, rather than the truth, which is that I am bisexual.

This presumption of my sexual orientation being judged on my current partner annoys me greatly; if I choose not to have a partner, then what am I? Invisible?!

Similarly, I have had pressure from lesbian friends that I must be a lesbian if I am dating a woman, and then if I date a guy it must be because it is "easier" or more acceptable.

Quite often, when I have come out to guys, they presume a threesome must be on the agenda, and some have been quite hostile after we have split up if I subsequently date a woman. Being bisexual isn't an "easy choice", because for me, it isn't a choice at all."

Lia's story , 38, bisexual woman.

For more support on coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual check out the Coming Out section.

If you need to talk to someone call the LGF Helpline on 0845 3 30 30 30 (local call rate), 6pm-10pm (Staffed), 10pm-6pm (automated system).

Other useful links:

BiPhoria

BiCon

Picture posed by model.