Sexual behaviour

As with everything, what you choose to do in the privacy of your own environment, whilst remainingin the bounds of the law, is your choice and we hope you would choose to do it as safely as possible.

As with all sexual matters, talk it over with your partner and explain what it is you want exactly and where you draw the line.

If you feel uncomfortable in any way, then don't do it.

Anal sex

We've all probably thought about it fromtime to time, but anal sex can be taboo forsome lesbians. If you do decide to try it, then it's best to approach it with an open mind. If done properly, anal sex shouldn't be too painful or messy and you can get off on it too.

  • The first rule of anal sex is cleanliness.
  • The second is plenty of water based lube.
  • The third is start slowly and work up slowly to full penetration and don't be afraid to say stop if it doesn't feel right.

The great thing about lesbian anal sex is that unlike a penis, you can choose the size of the dildo or vibrator.

BDSM

The term BDSM is an abbreviation from the terms Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.

It defines a range of behaviours including dominance, submission, punishment, role play and a large variety of other activities usually of a sexual nature.

Most important is your safety when engaging in these sexual practices. It's often useful to agree to use a safe word with your partner - particularly during role play - something totally non-related like ‘biscuit', then if you feel uncomfortable or frightened at any point during the session, you can say your safe word and your partner will stop.

Make sure any BDSM activity you engage in is consented to by all concerned.

Fisting

This is where you penetrate your partner's vagina or anus with your hand and/or your forearm.

You should have your fingers straight and as close together as possible, and then slowly insert them into a very well lubricated vagina or anus.

Once insertion is complete, you may then clench your fist. The smallest movement of your hand may feel huge to her, so remember to take it slow and steady.

Rimming

Rimming is where you use your tongue to lick and penetrate your partner's anus.

Always make sure your anus is clean before your partner starts rimming you. It’s best to have a number two earlier that evening (wiping front to back so you don’t spread bacteria from the bowels into the vagina) and then have a soapy bath or shower so that down there is nice and clean for your partner to lick.

Rimming doesn’t have quite the same wonderful sensation for women as it does for men. However it is still a pleasant feeling for some ladies and can help turn women on. If the idea of licking your partner’s arse doesn’t do it for you then simply don’t. As with all sex, you should want to do it. Never feel pressured into a situation or sexual act.

Oral sex (Cunnilingus)

Cunnilingus is the act of stimulating your partner’s clitoris with your mouth and tongue by licking and kissing the vagina, including the entrance.

Cunnilingus is a safe sex act compared to other forms of sex but it is not risk free by any means. If the lady who’s receiving oral sex has a sexually transmitted disease then it can be passed on if you have unhealthy gums, or mouth ulcers etc. Herpes can come in both genital and oral forms.

The risk of transferring a virus is heightened if the receiver is menstruating. To reduce the risk you could try covering the genitals with a dental dam (which now come in a variety of different flavours) or non-microwavable cling film (It has to be non microwavable so that there are no holes in it). Using these products are a precaution and not a necessity.

It depends on the individual and how well you know each other. It is thought that Bacterial Vaginosis may be related to oral sex but more research is needed on this before any conclusions can be made. The instances of HIV being passed on in this way are rare but it could happen in theory. Always wait a while after brushing your teeth before having oral sex in case you irritate your gums while brushing.

To make the whole experience more pleasant, hygiene is important. Obviously keep yourself clean but don’t use strong soaps or practise vaginal douching (putting water directly into the vagina) as this can unbalance the vagina’s natural bacteria, causing bacterial vaginosis, which produces that nasty niff. Keeping your pubic hair nicely trimmed will also help as will wearing loose cotton underwear.

Threesomes

Consensual sex between 3 people. It may be fun if you are single but can lead to emotional insecurity and jealousy if all parties involved are not completely happy with it.

If you are having sex with more than one partner it is important to practise safe sex. Risks are reduced if you know the person involved and are aware of their sexual past but it’s still important to be safe. Always keep your vaginal fluid away from the other women’s genitals and visa versa. If you are using sex toys never share them. Have your own or use a condom on dildos or vibrators. Always change the condom before it enters a new hole. Avoid touching the anus and then the vagina as this spreads infection from the bowels.

If you are involving a man in the threesome always use condoms and change condoms between partners.

Some lesbians enjoy threesomes. If you are unsure about the situation it is important to say so. As with all sex don’t feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. Some people may feel awkward about seeing their partner be intimate with someone else, which could lead to strain upon the relationship. You may get off on the idea as a fantasy but the reality may stir a completely different emotion.

On the other hand threesomes may really turn you and your partner on. Three isn’t always a crowd! The decision is yours but whatever you do be safe.

Watersports

Ever come across a lady who’s into yellow? Well, a woman that likes to enjoy water sports during sex doesn’t do strange things while water skiing but instead will enjoy using urine in her sex games.

There may be some health risks, such as urinary based infections like cystitis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea so before you let it all flow it’s best to have a check-up at your local GUM clinic. Take a urine sample along to be tested to ensure you are infection free. You’ll probably have to make an appointment first.

Try to drink plenty of water to dilute your piss. Pee that has been brewing in your bladder, dark and strong in smell might not be the sexiest start to your sports. However too much may result in drowning your partner with a long flow, so get the right balance.

Tips include start the flow by pissing on her body and end with dribbling in her mouth, that’s if she wants to take it of course. As with all sexual matters, talk it over with your partner and explain what it is you want exactly and where you draw the line. If you feel uncomfortable in any way then don’t do it. Don’t just do something to get your partner off if you are dead against the idea. It will just cause emotional problems later. Talk openly about sex and I’m sure you’ll come to some common ground that lights both your fires.

For practical reasons it’s probably best to conduct your water sports in the bath as it avoids soggy mattresses or carpets and is also easier to clean. You can also have a nice session in the shower afterwards. There are also a few clubs where water sports take place. Listings should be included in fetish magazines. These clubs are for the serious watersport enthusiast though.