Interview with writer Andrew C. J Smith

Gay writer, music producer and poet Andrew C. J Smith from Stockport has recently produced a short poetry book called The Story Of Soi, which reflects his own life story and covers many important issues he has faced including homophobia, bullying and drug taking. The 26-year-old talks to Jeni Quirke this month about his book.

When did you start writing poetry?

When I was about twelve. I used to get very depressed and poetry was an escape for me. Then I just kept on writing until after I was ill when I wrote The Story Of Soi. My mum said I should try to get it published.

Tell us about your illness

I’ve suffered from depression since the age of eight and I was on anti-depressants from that age. They worked for a while, but then when I was in my teens I got depressed again and started drinking, and I was on and off various anti-depressents. When I was sixteen and I came out I got onto the gay scene and started taking a lot of different drugs. When I was nineteen I started having psychotic episodes until I was twenty-one, and then I was put on anti-psychotics, so I don’t have episodes anymore. When I was 23 I was diagnosed as having a schizo-affective disorder, basically schizophrenia. It was very scary.

The Story Of Soi is written like a fairy story. What made you choose that style?

I’ve always liked Disney stories and fairy tales. I didn’t aim it at children or adults, I just wrote it from the heart. It was influenced by all the stories I loved as a child.

Tell us a little bit how about the experiences you’ve had in your life have influenced your writing.

I was adopted when I was very young. My real mum died and my real dad was only 18, so he couldn’t look after me. The mum and dad that adopted me have been brilliant all through my life, but I realised I was gay when I was eight years old. I was really depressed and confused about that. I didn’t like school at all, I felt like an outcast. I wasn’t severely bullied but I got the usual namecalling. When I was sixteen and came out I had my first boyfriend. I thought he was brilliant and my prayers had been answered. That was how I was introduced to the gay scene and started taking drugs. I started experimenting and getting in with the wrong crowd. That didn’t go too well and then I was ill, as I’ve already talked about.. My illness inspired me to write the story, I wanted to write about my life. I didn’t go to get it published for a while because I didn’t think it was good enough, I didn’t have much confidence. But then I heard of Chipmunka publishing, who specialise in publishing books for people with mental health problems. I’m actually going to be the first gay male author on their list, which is good but a bit sad. They have lots of gay female authors, and they have had a few gay male authors in the past who pulled out because they didn’t have the confidence. I was scared of doing it too, but I thought if I can do it maybe I can inspire other people.

There’s a bit in the story about a cage. What does that represent?

I felt trapped by my illness, my sexuality, taking drugs. I didn’t have a drug addiction but I was a heavy user of Ket, ecstasy and Speed. for a long time, I just felt stuck in a rut.

Are the characters in the Story Of Soi, such as the Tall Lady and the Wise Old Man, based on real people?

The Tall Lady is my mum and my dad. The little fish is school friends who were good to me. The bigger fish are the bullies and older kids. The wise man is the doctors I’ve had. The black cat and the dog are people on the gay scene who seemed nice at first but weren’t. Soi means I Am in Spanish. It rhymes with boy as well.

How did you go about getting publishing?

My mum told me about Chipmunka, which was the last place I went to. I just wrote off to publishers and sent them my work. I got clippings from the newspaper about publishing your own book.

Will it be available in shops soon?

Yes it’ll be in shops and online. If you go to www.chipmunkapublishing.com you can buy it as an E-Book. It should be instores in the next six months.

How often do you write?

All the time, if I’ve not written for a few weeks something might just come into my head.

What are you hoping people will get out of reading your story?

I think it’s a nice story, it’s a true story, and I just want to tell people my life story and inspire them to either try writing or show them that I’ve achieved something despite my hardships.

The pictures you sent were very interesting. Were they done professionally? Tell us about them

Yeah. I had them done by a wedding photographer. I had the ideas and I just told him what to do.

What jobs have you had in the past?

I’ve done hairdressing, worked in a casino, which was horrible, and worked in a tattoo studio as well. I was training to tattoo but I never did tattoo anyone because I was training, but I did pierce a few bellybuttons!

How would you describe the music you make? Again, who influenced you, if anyone?

It’s a bit trancey and a bit dark. A lot of my sad feelings come out in my music. Madonna influenced me, I know it doesn’t sound anything like her but I think she’s an amazing artist who’s done loads of different kinds of things. I got into her when I was 12 and have followed her career ever since. She inspired me to write full stop.

What do you do when you’re not writing and making music?

I like seeing my friends and family. Occasionally I go out on the gay scene, but it’s not something I need anymore.

What’s the difference between making music and writing for you? Is it the same kind of experience or do you find yourself inspired by different things?

When I write lyrics it’s the same as writing, but for one I illustrate and another I put music out. Other than that I get the same buzz out of it.

For more information or to purchase Andrew’s book online The Story Of Soi see www.chipmunkapublishing.com