Butch, skinhead, wife-beating, pint drinkers?

Butch, femme, dyke - what kind of lesbian are you? Jeni Quirke explores the negativity surrounding lesbian stereotypes, takes a look at internalised homophobia within the lesbian community and examines the media portrayal of lesbians on screen over the years.

So what exactly is a lesbian? Well, that’s simple isn’t it? “A lesbian is a woman who really wants to be a man. She is very butch and masculine looking with short hair and men’s shoes. She would never wear make-up and dresses nor would she drink anything but beer. She is very loud, inappropriate and aggressive and often abuses (both physically and mentally) her feminine female partner.”

This hurtful and inaccurate description of an everyday lesbian is the culmination of stereotypes that many heterosexuals and gay men stated when asked ‘What do you think of when you hear the word lesbian?’ (see separate box below for specific answers).

But let’s not stop there... lesbians and bisexual women are also guilty of holding stereotypical generalisations and assumptions about each other based on appearance and personality. The words ‘dyke’, ‘baby-dyke’, ‘lipstick lesbian’, ‘pretend lesbian’ and ‘political lezza’ are too often thrown about the lesbian community, at work, in the pub or even from a friend to a friend in a jokey and cheeky way.

So why is this still happening, in a supposedly very tolerant and gay friendly society? It’s quite straightforward for all involved - stereotypes are typically generalisations based on minimal or limited knowledge about a group to which the person doing the stereotyping does not belong, such as heterosexual people and gay men. But then the posing and unanswered question of why do lesbian and bisexual women also carelessly use the terms ‘butch’, ‘femme’, ‘dyke’, and so on still needs an explanation.

Is it internalised homophobia? As ridiculous as it may sound to some, internalised homophobia in lesbians is a very common issue and can have devastating effects. This particular type of homophobia comes in many different forms and expresses itself through conscious and unconscious behaviour, which unfortunately means that most women don’t even realise they have it or are displaying it.

One form is when a lesbian feels the need to promote or conform to the expectations of heteronormativity or heterosexism. This can include forced outward displays of heteronormative behaviour for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted" by society as a whole. Surprisingly, many gay women display this trait, including openly out and proud lesbians. Just think about the last time you, your partner or a friend refused to hold hands with another women in the street because there were ‘straight’ people walking nearby. How about the last time you were asked by a straight person whether or not you had a boyfriend and the answer you gave was ‘yes’ or ‘I’m single’, even though you had a girlfriend?

NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES

The use of words such as ‘dyke’, ‘butch’ and ‘femme’ from a lesbian individual or group are almost always meant in a negative way. Often, the only positive times you will hear the words spoken will be from a lesbian who is referring to herself, such as ‘Yeah I’m a butch dyke, but so what? It’s who I am.’ For the individual and for onlookers this proud and defensive statement will seem a very noble and bold thing to say. This it is, but it could also encourage the use of such stereotypes by heterosexual and non-heterosexual people.

Think of the last time you heard a lesbian say ‘look at that big butch dyke!’, or ‘she’s not gay - she’s too femme’, or even ‘is that a man or a lesbian?’. We’ve all said something like this once or more in our lives. If we are using offensive terms to one another in our own community, then what chance is there that straight people and gay men will stop using them? Are we re-enforcing the terms? And if so why are we doing this to each other and to ourselves? Everyone will have their own theory, but could it include the personal fear that we might mould into one of the main lesbian stereotypes? Other explanations explore the questions of whether, as lesbians, we don’t like difference and any lesbian who looks or acts differently to ourselves threatens our existence or the answer could be something else completely. Possibly the thought that ‘stereotypical’ lesbians such as ‘butch dykes’ are re-enforcing people’s generalisations and giving lesbians a bad name.

One of the people we asked in Manchester described typical gay women as ‘butch, skinhead, tank top, wife beater, pint drinkers…”, although he was probably playing on the stereotypes out there, that description made me feel very angry and sad that some people could actually think the average lesbian is a ‘wife beater’.

There are butch women out there, and there are lesbians who have skin heads. Many gay girls wear tank tops and many drink pints. And yes there are some violent girlfriends out there, but certainly not enough to be a general collective and stand to represent the whole lesbian community. Every one of the words used in this statement may on its own apply to thousands of lesbians, but as a sentence and as a collective it certainly doesn’t apply to more than a handful of women.

So why is it that so many heterosexual people and gay men continue to categorise and stereotype lesbians? Could it be that society on the whole has become addicted and accustomed to using labels or labelling. Try and think of an object, a service or even a person, which or who cannot be categorised under one or more labels – it’s hard isn’t it?

LESBIAN LABELS

Lesbians are a category of their own and would under normal circumstances be quite hard to label into a four-sided square box. The well-known and common female stereotypes such as femme , butch and dyke are only there so other people and sometimes even ourselves use to categorise all the ‘types’ or ‘breeds’ of lesbians neatly away into a fileable drawer.

Another major issue for mainstream society is that lesbians often don’t conform to society’s gender and placement roles, rules and boundaries. For one we are attracted to and have intimate and passionate sex with people of the same gender – an instant rule breaker, which up until 1994 was considered a serious mental illness in the UK. It still is in many countries completely illegal with a maximum punishment of death.

Most straight people find it quite difficult to understand lesbians because they are always looking to identify the male/husband and female/wife roles in the relationship. They are often baffled and confused at how two feminine or two masculine women can be attracted to each other. The perceived and stereotypical idea from a straight person is that for a woman to be attracted to another women, then she must be quite butch and masculine looking and only be attracted to feminine and girly traits in another. How often do you hear the phrase ‘So who wears the pants in the relationship?’

So how about the heterosexual theory that all a lesbian really needs is the right man to come along? Let’s face it, the ‘right’ man ain’t never gonna come along! A lesbian is a woman who is romantically and sexually attracted to other women and only women. They can be feminine or they can be masculine - it really doesn’t matter. So the next time someone says to you ‘Oh you just haven’t had the right man yet’, stand up, laugh, and walk away.

LESBIANS ON SCREEN

A lot of the negativity around lesbian stereotypes can be blamed on the way the media has portrayed women who love women over the years. Throughout the history of television and film and even today, lesbian characters are too easily categorised or stereotyped, in the belief that viewers will easily recognise them without actually having to hear the word ‘lesbian’.

Vito Russo describes the history of media negativity around gay people perfectly. He said: "In a hundred years of movies, homosexuality has only rarely been depicted on the screen. When it did appear, it was there as something to laugh at—or something to pity—or even something to fear. These were fleeting images, but they were unforgettable, and they left a lasting legacy. Hollywood, that great maker of myths, taught straight people what to think about gay people … and gay people what to think about themselves."

If we look at films throughout the 20th century, nearly all of lesbian characters have been portrayed as masculine in one way or another. It’s probably true to say that straight screen writers wanted audiences to view lesbians as women who were born the wrong sex. This simple theory would explain the naivety around portraying lesbians as characters who subconsciously want a man, which would also explain simply to mainstream audiences that the only reason that lesbians are attracted to women, is in fact because they want to be men.

It’s sad that the few screen characters who were chosen to play heterosexual acting feminine lesbian roles were in some way made to possess a fault or flaw – as if the character creator struggled with the concept of making that woman who loves other women ‘perfect’. One of the most extreme but common flaws given to lesbian characters is to let them try attempt, or actually commit suicide while struggling with their sexuality. Why can’t the writers just let these women be happy and content with their sexuality?

Even the possibility of a ‘happy ever after’ ending by pairing the character up with the woman she so desired or even another lesbian is rarely portrayed. It really does make you wonder and ask the question of whether the high number of suicides in the gay and lesbian community would be any lower together with the question of whether there would be more ‘out’ people in the world today.

WE’RE ALL DIFFERENT!

Lesbians and bisexual women come in all shapes, sizes and colours. Some of us are skinny, some overweight, others are in-between. Some of us are masculine and others are curvy and feminine. Some of us wear make-up and some don’t. Some of us have long hair and some of us have short hair. Some of us like to wear jeans and pants but some of us instead like to wear skirts and dresses.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what a lesbian looks like, what she wears or what her personality is like. We are all women who love and have sex with other women and difference is a positive thing. After all, who would want to go out with a slightly different version of their ex ten times over? We should all join and work together to end other people’s preconceptions, generalisations and stereotypes by not doing it in and to our own community.

We hope that you have enjoyed this challenging and thought-provoking feature this issue. Feel free to read the answers to our stereotype vox-pops on the following pages and if you have any positive or negative comments or feedback on this article please email jeni@lgf.org.uk or telephone 0161 235 8006.

VOX-POPS

 Additional one-liner vox-pops