Ben Amponsah
Ben Amponsah was born in London in 1968 and served in the Army between 1992 and 1998. Ben was awarded the UN Medal (Cyprus), and attained the rank of Captain.
I had a really strong desire to be an army officer as there were virtually no black officers when I joined. I thought, ‘Well, this is what I want to do. You shouldn't allow the fact that there hasn't been anyone before you stop you.'
I had to overcome racism in the army before even beginning to deal with homophobia. The military is around 20 years behind the rest of society which is why racism was such a big problem and there is such a macho environment that a certain amount of homophobia was to be expected. I joined because I really needed to be part of a close unit, and to have a sense of family. I wanted ,to be someone and feel that I belonged and have some status in life.
In 1994 I was promoted to Captain. I had to be vetted at top secret level so I really couldn't afford to have any skeletons in my closet at all. There were people in the army that knew I was gay but didn't care despite the fact that I made sure that my sexual and social life had nothing to do with the military.
Sometime during my time at Sandhurst they decriminalised homosexuality, although you would still be thrown out. But I didn't feel I could raise my head above the parapet, because peoplewould ask, ‘Why are you defending gay people?'
I do wish I could have joined the army 10 years later and be an out gay officer as I spent 6 years looking over my shoulder for fear that my sexuality would be discovered. If I had stayed I'm sure I could have achieved much more - although I was the first black officer in the Royal Armoured Corps.
I was the Regimental Signals Officer, in charge of signalling equipment and communications. Obviously I wanted to be the RSO. It's a very good ticket to becoming a Commanding Officer.But the RSO must have vetting to top secret level. ‘They'll find out things about yourself that you don't even know', was the joke! I thought: ‘My god, they will find out. And that will be the end ofmy Army career.'
Life after the Army
When I left the army I did feel a little disconnected, it took me a few years to relax and realise I wasn't in the force anymore. I really needed to work on my personal development as opposed to my professional development. Apart from my job with PPC Worldwide I'm getting qualified as a counselling psychologist and very much enjoying life. I am a trustee for the Lesbian and Gay Foundation so I do feel l am continuing the fight for equality and as a qualified counsellor I volunteer for the organisations Face to Face Counselling Service.
Advice
The Army was a good experience really, but only while the whole gay part of me was invisible.' It gave me my sense of discipline, order and a drive to succeed . I sometimes miss the army as a way of life the level of discipline and of real professionalism and camaraderie.
I would say to any LGB person thinking of a career in the armed forces you must go in with your eyes wide open .There will be people with prejudices but you must be yourself. Expect ignorance but be strong. Bullying in the army has to be stamped out and I think if you are driven enough you can achieve much.
If lesbian and gay people do not go into the forces then the whole demographic will never change. Racism has been overcoming by confonting people and we have to the same with homophobia.
