Nicci Hollihead
Age: 28
Period and place of service: 2006 - Present The Royal Artillery Liverpool
Rank: Officer Cadet
Hometown: Southport
My decision to join the military was based solely on the fact that I loved the job itself. The fact that I am a lesbian never made me consider whether or not it was the right decision to make. The choice to join and from the onset make my sexuality common knowledge was a different matter however. After all it is only within the last decade that we have officially been allowed in the military.
I decided to withhold telling everyone about my sexuality at first. This was not because of the banter or even because of the negative attitudes which could be directed at me. I knew beforehand that there would be banter regarding peoples sexuality, in fact I knew that there would be banter about most things. What stopped me was that I was concerned that if it was common knowledge then maybe it would prevent my promotion. Of course on paper this would not be allowed, but other reasons could always be found to prevent a promotion.
After a short while I decided to tell my close friends of my sexuality, which was not a problem to them. However a few of them advised me to not tell my commanding officer as they thought he would not accept it. This I found disappointing, after all I had a good relationship with him and found it hard to accept that would change just because of my sexuality. After a while though things worked out as they usually do, it came about that my commanding officer thought no such thing about my sexuality, in fact he was only too happy to let me attend the annual LGBT Ministry of Defence Forum in Rheindahlen this year.
The banter is part and parcel of life in the military, it was never meant with disgust towards me. No one is ever left out of the banter, regardless of who you are; you were always open to a good bit of friendly verbal abuse. I am fully aware that not everyone in the military has experienced the same level of acceptance as me and that it can be completely different for gay men to be out in the military.
However things are changing and progress is being made. With the news that the LGBT military could finally wear their uniform in London Pride, it is a feat that although is welcomed, it is long overdue.
Lets just hope that the military catch up with the rest of society...
